I know that it is a cliche to say that husbands do not listen to their wives, but it was not until after I was married that I truly understood the depths of this issue and how it would effect my marriage.  For years I heard my mother talk about how my dad just tuned her out, while my siblings and I would just laugh and chalk it up to my mother’s incessant talking…who would want to listen to her all the time anyway…little did I know.

As the years of our marriage have gone by I am starting to see a trend where whole conversations start with my husband saying “You never told me that” and ending with my saying “I am pretty sure I told you”.  At first I thought I was really starting to lose my mind.  Was I dreaming these conversations or having them with my imaginary husband (who is probably 6 feet tall, muscular, with a full head of hair)?  After awhile I started to see that I needed to really get his attention, one-on-one with eye contact, to discuss topics where I needed his input to be sure that he really heard what I had to say.  Unfortunately, in our busy lives we have to talk when we can and make family decisions quickly…which makes it very frustrating when I have to keep explaining my points or asking for his input because he did not hear (read listen) to me the first three times! 

I think the hardest part to understand about him not listening to me is that he is extremely intelligent and I know that he can multi-task so I just can’t seem to figure out why he can’t seem to hear, comprehend, and remember some of our conversations.  My theory is that he only remembers the things that matter to him (or impact is life is some way) while everything else is in one ear and out the other (e.g., travel arrangements, volunteer schedule, birthdays).  

If anyone has any insight or tips on dealing with husbands with selective hearing please shares.  I am sure that there are many wives out there that can relate.